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From The Asian Reporter, V18, #19 (May 6, 2008), page 6.
Like comparing apples to putty-moo
I have a simple linguistics test for you.
The next time you go out for breakfast, I’d like you to order a glass of orange juice as quickly as possible. Simple, right?
Oh, I forgot one important part of the test. Try ordering said glass of juice without anyone using the word "orange." Aha … not so easy now, huh, smarty pants?
Inevitably, the conversation between you and the server will go something like this:
You: And with my breakfast, I’d like to order a small glass of … uhh …
Server: Yes?
You: I’d like a glass of juice from a certain type of fruit.
Server: Of course, no problem. What type of juice would you like?
You: Uhh … well, it’s a citrus fruit, but not a lemon or a lime. It’s round like a grapefruit, but not a grapefruit.
Server: Hmm … I see. Maybe I can help. What color is the fruit you’d like juice from?
You: Color, yes, of course. Well, uh … it’s like a darker yellow, or maybe a lighter brown color.
Server: I’m sorry, but could you be a bit more specific?
You: I don’t suppose you have any tangerine juice?
I bring this up because in the miracle of communication that we call language, a single word like "orange" can make the biggest difference in the world. Unfortunately, I found this out the hard way, on one of my trips to China.
As I said, a word like "orange" is pretty invaluable when you want to order a simple glass of orange juice. The same holds true in China.
While the primary Chinese dialect, Mandarin, is basically the same wherever you might speak it throughout the world, there are a few words spoken in China that are not really used by Chinese speakers anywhere else in the world.
Let me give you a couple of examples.
Anywhere outside of China, when you refer to a waitress in a Chinese restaurant, you address her using the Chinese words xiao jie, which basically mean "young lady."
However, in certain parts of China, I recently learned, you do not refer to a waitress with the term xiao jie because, culturally, that term is usually reserved for addressing a … um … well … a "lady of the night." Or how about a "woman working in the oldest profession?" I’m sure you know what I mean.
You may also be interested to know that the Chinese phrase for orange juice anywhere outside of China is ju-zi shwei, which literally means "orange water." However, ordering orange juice in China by using the phrase ju-zi shwei will get you a blank stare from your server, because the phrase will sound like gibberish, as if you took the phrase "orange juice" and replaced it with a nonsensical word like, say, "putty-moo." Because their word for orange juice is chen jr, which is a word I had never heard.
I wish someone had told me this just a little bit sooner.
That’s right, you guessed it. At my breakfast in communist China, I nonchalantly flagged down my waitress, smiled, and proceeded loudly and confidently to blurt out the following request, in Chinese:
"Good morning, prostitute! When you get a chance, I would really like you to give me some putty-moo!"
You would never have guessed that there were so many police assigned to the restaurant that day.