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From The Asian Reporter, V18, #20 (May 20, 2008), page 6.
Time marches on, unless you uninvite yourself
On any given day, life presents challenges. The key is in how you roll with the punches.
When things get you down, take a deep breath. Turn the other cheek. Take time to stop and smell the roses. Go to your happy place.
Even better — draw a nice, warm bath, light some scented candles, and for an extra touch, toss a handful of freshly picked lavender petals into the water to set the mood as you ease into the perfumed, silky smooth water.
Ahhh … gurgle, gurgle … life is sweet.
If you keep yourself in the right frame of mind, you can handle anything life throws at you.
Last week, someone backed into my car as I was about to leave and slightly dented my fender. Sure, I could have been upset, but I’m sure he was in a hurry and obviously didn’t do it on purpose. Then, a few days ago, I had lunch with a friend and the waitress brought me the wrong order — twice. Again, she didn’t mean it and I’m sure she was just having an off day.
Yesterday, a colleague of mine cancelled a meeting that we’ve had to reschedule three times already. Well, I thought, I’m sure it must have been something really important.
I just think life is too short to get worked up by such minor distractions.
So, it was with my serene peace of mind that I went about my day today. I got up, dropped my son off at school, jogged a couple of miles, made a few phone calls, and then went out to the mailbox to retrieve the day’s mail.
There, among the junk mail, bills, and letters, was an invitation for me to join … AARP. The American Association of RETIRED Persons.
What?!? Is this some kind of friggin’ joke? I’m only 44!
My first reaction was confusion. Perhaps there’s another AARP. I got on the internet and started doing a search for other potential names using the acronym AARP. I started with "Asian Americans for Rhino Preservation" and "Athletic Americans for Recreational Parks." Nothing.
A search for "Awesome Association for Rad People" didn’t come up with anything either.
Once I realized that this invitation was indeed for me, and that there really is only one AARP, I started to panic.
I immediately called my mom, and naturally assumed that she, like anyone else over 60, was automatically enrolled in the AARP and must know everything about it.
"Mom," I said, with a slight tremble in my voice, "I just got an invitation to join AARP!"
"OK …" she said, calmly, without the slightest hint of disgust in her voice.
"What do you mean, OK? I just got an invitation to join A … A … R … P!"
"So?"
"What do you mean, so? I’m only 44 years old! You’re not supposed to be getting letters from AARP when you’re 44 years old! There must be some law against that."
"Just calm down. Why don’t you go relax and take a nice hot bath?"
"I don’t need a stinkin’ bath!!!"
Now, don’t get me wrong — I would love nothing more than to live a long, healthy life. I want to enjoy the sunset of my life and the wisdom that I’m sure comes with it. But, the fact is, I am not in the sunset of my life! At this point in my life, it’s only about noon!
In a minute, I’m going to get back on AARP’s website and find out the minimum age for membership. If need be, I’ll call them and insist that they rescind my invitation and "blacklist" me for at least 10 years.
Forget all that stuff I said about "smelling roses" and "turning cheeks." When it comes to getting older, "denial" is as good as it gets.