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My Turn
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From The Asian Reporter, V19, #10 (March 10, 2009), page 6.
One benefit — No sabre-toothed tigers
People are hurting out there.
It goes without saying that our country, and much of the world, is currently going through an economic slump that no one under the age of 80 has really experienced. You might say we are living in an age of loss — loss of our homes, loss of our employment, and loss of our sense of security.
This column, or at least my intent with it, has been an attempt to provide a momentary diversion to take one’s mind off daily struggles and focus on something that might provide a chuckle or a smile. I do this by writing about topics one might not ordinarily notice but seem amusing all the same.
For example, why is it that the standard usage time for a "Grand Opening" banner for most stores is two weeks but for Chinese restaurants it’s four and a half years?
But I digress.
As I was saying, there is no denying we are all, collectively, in a funk. My dilemma now is whether I can still bring a bit of levity in what I write without forgetting the obvious struggles we all face.
Sometimes, it’s easier to deal with problems if you can put things in a greater perspective.
With that in mind, to help provide a bit of perspective on our collective situation, I thought I would compare and contrast my current lifestyle against the life of one of my earliest ancestors in China. I will call him Mok, and I will call this exercise "Wayne and Mok Chan — A Study in Lifestyles."
Every morning, I get up out of bed, brush my teeth, eat a light breakfast, and go out for an early morning jog. Every morning, Mok gets up off the dirt ground, grubs for some berries, picks up a spear, and runs away in sheer terror to avoid being mauled by a sabre-toothed tiger.
After my jog, I shower, change into my work clothes, and suffer through traffic congestion to get to my office by 8:00am sharp. At 8:00 in the morning, Mok can usually be found clinging to a tree, in order to avoid being mauled by a sabre-toothed tiger.
Once Mok climbs down from the tree, he takes his spear and begins hunting animals to feed his family. He realizes his family will not eat unless he is successful in catching his prey. I, on the other hand, can respond to e-mails and talk to co-workers without worrying about catching any food because twice a day a large concession truck parks in front of my building and I can go down and order a pastrami sandwich.
After many hours of creeping through bushes and ravines, Mok quietly climbs over a steep knoll, peers over the edge, and spots his prey, an "Asian Golden Cat," an animal found in the subtropical regions of south China. This Golden Cat will feed his entire family for two days. I, on the other hand, drive back home and am greeted by Allie, our Golden Retriever — who is in no immediate danger.
Upon arriving back to his cave, Mok sets the Golden Cat down over an open flame and then, with his spear, wades into a nearby pond in hopes of catching a fish. Once I arrive home, the family decides to go out for fast food, where we proceed to order fried fish sticks pre-shaped into perfect rectangles.
On the weekends, you can usually find our family walking in a park, watching movies, and in these hard economic times, eating out less and spending more time at home. On the other hand, Mok spends his weekends doing the same thing he does on weekdays since the calendar has not been invented yet.
Well, there you go. I feel better already.