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My Turn by Wayne Chan

From The Asian Reporter, V33, #12 (December 4, 2023), page 7.

Tian Tian, Mei Xiang, and their cub Xiao Qi Ji have moved to China.

If you haven’t already heard, the three pandas were residents of the Smithsonian’s National Zoo in Washington, D.C. until November 8. The departure of the pandas ended 50 years of showcasing the popular pandas at the east coast zoo.

The loaning of pandas is part of a program that has allowed them to delight audiences around the world.

It has been part of a diplomatic and cultural exchange between the U.S. and China, often referred to as "Panda Diplomacy," that started in the 1970s during the Nixon administration.

The question I have is now that nearly all of the pandas have been transported back to China, particularly when relations between the U.S. and China have been somewhat rocky for the past few years, what should we call the program — "Panda Discord?"

If this is China’s way of somehow punishing or disrespecting the U.S., my concern is that the return of the pandas to China is the start of a slippery slope. What if this panda incident leads to some sort of cultural retaliation from the U.S.?

I mean, there’s a lot to choose from. Much of U.S. pop culture is wildly popular in China. Taylor Swift has more than 100 music videos and hundreds of pages of live performances uploaded to YouKou, China’s version of YouTube.

During my last trip to Shanghai, while walking along the famous Bund, I stopped at a local Häagen-Dazs for a scoop of ice cream, which is promoted in various Chinese ads by actor Bradley Cooper. The NBA is a major fan favorite throughout China.

What happens if Taylor suddenly closes up shop in China? How will the China populace get their fill of songs describing her latest romantic adventures? What if Häagen-Dazs stops selling ice cream? No more scoops of butter pecan? Will China be able to survive only on condensed milk over shaved ice?

And what would we do with Disneyland in Shanghai? Would we move it all back and set up shop in Little Rock, Arkansas? If we really have to do it, maybe we can compromise — we’ll take back Pirates of the Caribbean and Buzz Lightyear Planet Rescue, but in return, we’ll ship out "It’s a Small World" as a replacement. How’s that for diplomacy?

Then what would China do in retaliation? If China’s up in arms about having "It’s a Small World" foisted upon them, will they start getting serious?

No more iPhones or iPads. Both of those are made in China. You wouldn’t be reading this column because right this moment I’d have to rush out and buy a PC if I was going to meet my deadline.

No, no … it’s just not worth it. China needs their ice cream and the Pirates of the Caribbean and we need our iPhones and iPads. It turns out that the Smithsonian’s National Zoo is renovating their panda exhibit in the hopes China will send a new pair of pandas in the future. Let’s hope that Panda Diplomacy is alive and well, especially since China’s President Xi last month visited President Biden.

Here’s a thought. If we really want to engage in Panda Diplomacy, we can do a trade. For every panda China sends to the U.S., we’ll open up one Panda Express in China! A panda for a panda!

Hmm … as a backup, the holiday season is upon us. Maybe there’ll be a sale on PCs.

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