INSIDE:

NEWS/STORIES/ARTICLES
Book Reviews
Columns/Opinion/Cartoon
Films
International
National
NW/Local
Recipes
Special A.C.E. Stories
Sports
Online Paper (PDF)

CLASSIFIED SECTION
Bids & Public Notices
NW Job Market

NW RESOURCE GUIDE
Consulates
Organizations
Scholarships
Special Sections

Asian Reporter Info

About Us

Advertising Info.

Contact Us
Subscription Info. & Back Issues

FOLLOW US
Facebook

Twitter

ASIA LINKS
Currency Exchange
Time Zones
More Asian Links
 

Copyright © 1990 - 2026
AR Home

My Turn by Wayne Chan

With election season over and everyone just hoping for the best, it’s time to get to more immediate, pressing questions.

I think it might help if I provide some background on the situation.

We are a family of five: Myself, my lovely wife Maya, and our triplets — Ethan, Tyler, and Savannah. We have a nice, comfortable home. For the past 26 years, these children needed to be fed and apparently, in our role as parents, we had the fiduciary responsibility to feed them.

Therefore, in our home, in various locations, we have two refrigerators and a standing freezer to hold all of the provisions needed to keep them alive and healthy. Naturally, all three appliances have been packed completely full with food for 26 years. I mean, there isn’t a square inch of space available in any of these units at any given time. If an item is taken out to be consumed, something else is immediately put in to take its place.

That is, however, until last year. For the most part, all three kids have moved out. All three have bright futures, and because we kept our end of the bargain and fed them as required, they are healthy and well nourished.

Now that we are in the "empty nester" stage of our lives, here is my pressing question: Why are all the fridges still packed with food?

I’ve been on a diet for the last 6 months and I’ve lost weight. I just don’t eat that much anymore. Maya seems to eat things that are only suitable for birds — she eats light. And yet, our refrigerators and freezer continue to be packed to the gills with food I didn’t buy and that I don’t even know where it came from or what it is.

Here’s my quandary.

Last month, I bought a package of frozen dumplings. As an Asian, I’ve always loved dumplings. And I put them in the main freezer drawer in the kitchen for convenience and fast access.

And yet, every time I look for the dumplings, they’re never in the main freezer drawer where I originally left them. Someone (*cough cough* — ahem Maya) deliberately relocates my dumplings and what I find most troublesome is to where she moves them. (And no, it’s not the trash can.)

Maya puts them in the standing freezer. And no, she does not just place them on top of all the other food that is already in there. Our standing freezer is organized with two heavy bins full of food sitting on top of a third level of frozen goods. Maya leaves my dumplings on the third level, which means she has to jack up about 150 pounds of food bins to even get to the bottom/third level.

So, here is my follow-up question: Why are my treasured dumplings being relegated to what is ostensibly the freezer dungeon?

Maya then has the temerity to gripe about any food I have in the freezer: "Why don’t you eat any of the food you bought? I have to throw it out because it’s way past the expiration date!"

I must admit, some of the frozen stuff I’ve bought might have been acquired during the Clinton administration.

But my answer to her question is just as valid. I asked, "Why don’t I eat the food I bought? Because I just want to heat up a few dumplings, not set a new world record for a dead lift of frozen food!"

I’m sure we’ll be able to settle all this before the next election.

Read the current issue of The Asian Reporter in its entirety!
Go to <www.asianreporter.com/completepaper.htm>!

Opinions expressed in this newspaper are those of the
authors and not necessarily those of this publication.