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My Turn by Toni Tabora-Roberts

From The Asian Reporter, V18, #22 (June 3, 2008), page 6.

Whether I’m writing a biography for a website or a cover letter to try and hustle for a new job or shamelessly doling out self-important observations on a blog, I approach it anxiously, yet unabashedly. Putting my opinion and thoughts out there is something I can’t resist, but it is also scary and stressful. So, now here I sit trying to introduce myself to you in 800 words or less.

First of all, I’m a human, an individual, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a tita (aunt), a friend. OK, and yes, I am a woman, an Asian American, a first-generation Filipina, a person of color. I identify as all these things. (I’ll write more about that in my next column.) Beyond that, I tend to define myself most broadly as a professional dabbler. That includes identities such as activist, observer, critic, facilitator, creator, administrator, producer, and jokester. At times I’m cranky, generous, despondent, sappy, or hopeful. You can be sure I will almost always tell you how I’m feeling or what I think. Yet I consider myself shy, too. Some other tidbits that might be useful here: I am parenthetically obsessed as well as list obsessed (as you’ll quickly learn). I think I have a decent sense of humor, and I’d like to think I’m at least slightly above average in the smarts department.

Flashback … As the daughter of loving Filipino immigrant doctors growing up with my brothers (and best buds) in suburban Cleveland, I was somehow compelled to explore things that made my parents crazy. It’s the classic dilemma — my parents wanted me to study hard, settle into a "good job" (nine-to-five, of course, and in Cleveland, preferably) with benefits, get married, have a family, buy a house — the whole predictable shebang. Of course, that was so not where I wanted to be. I wanted to explore, create, get away from Cleveland (and the Midwest), be radical, be free, and change the world. Where have I landed? Somewhere pretty left, but center, and my Republican parents are still within view (i.e., we all still love and respect each other despite our disagreements). How’s that for a model minority family? (Happy 40th anniversary Mom and Dad!)

If you read The AR regularly you’ve probably seen a thing or two I’ve written, most likely about art or film. That’s certainly a huge part of what informs my perspective. I also have the opportunity to explore these, other journeys, and underrepresented issues as part of the award-winning APA Compass Radio Collective and staff at KBOO Community Radio (full disclosure, APA Compass recently won one of The Asian Reporter Foundation’s Exemplary Community Volunteer awards); on the board of the rad, nonprofit Bitch magazine; as an organizer with the populist Portland Grassroots Media Camp; and creative random dabblings with Process Space. I even help write and run pub quizzes with Pub Quiz Oregon (I think of it as "educational outreach through trivia"). See, that’s the titular "over-committed" thing.

I’m infatuated with looking at different approaches, points of view, and processes. I analyze, pick apart, and ruminate on ideas of representation whether it’s from a perspective of color, nation, gender, money, generation, or other yet-to-be-named, occasionally useful, most often frustrating label. Thus the titular "non-commital" a.k.a. "open-minded."

My intention for contributing to "My Turn" is to unload some kernels for thought, observation, and dialogue starters. And yes, I would love for this to be a conversation. I’ll put some thoughts out to you. You listen. You put some back to me. I listen. And so on. Come on, it’ll be fun (or at least interesting)!

At APA Compass we did a show inspired by Margaret Cho, who talked about "dying of a thousand paper cuts" in reference to those everyday, seemingly benign encounters with racism. I’ll try and explore things like paper cuts (e.g. "Where are you from? No, really, where are you from?") all the way up to festering, open gashes (e.g. "Is our country ready for a president of color?").

That’s me and my intended column in a one-page nutshell. Thanks for reading. Let’s do this!